Lauren de sa Naylor


Tope Ten Last Pics On My Phone

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Lauren de Sa Naylor writes/reads poetry. LDSN makes music/performs.


Russell Walker


Eastenders Top Ten

1. Roy Evans
I’ve never been a great one for the obvious comical characters like his son Barry. Evans Senior was an old school adult male both in the personal and professional sphere. His major storyline was when inadvertently Frank Butcher performee the act of God with his wife Pat, much to Evans Senior's dismay.

2. Christine Hewitt
Known even to her illicit lover as 'Mrs Hewitt', she was an elderly (at the time) vixen who enjoyed an act of God with Arthur Fowler. The story was pitched just right and the casting was on the money too. Down boy!

3. Alex Healy
Imagine being Richard Dawkins's next door neighbour when Lex Healy tipped up in the square! Kickstarting the policy of always having a man or woman of faith in the show, softly spoken Lex was easy on the eye as well as the ear.

4. Gray Atkins
Order! An attempt to gain some overlap from the Fifty Shades fanbase and the guy oozes sex appeal and ticked all the other boxes as well: plenty of cash, a flashy motor car, and a big time foodie. A corporate lawyer whose walls were adorned with contemporary abstract textured canvases, the poor man didn't have time to look at them such was his caseload. One thing led to another and he felt he had no other choice than to murder his partner

5. Kush Kazemi
Kush was one of Martin Fowler’s best mates, and by that I mean he held the position of best mate temporarily. Now I believe he is Sharon’s brother and has recently obtained a sexualluy transmitted disease while exercising at her gym. Part of the deal of being MF’s best mate is you get to drink out of a tankard. His best storyline was the time he was murdered by the aforementioned Gray Atkins on London's TFL despite having just saved the big spending lawyer's life.

6. Nish Panesar
A recent introduction. The screen crackles (not literally) every time he enters the scene. I like all of the Panesar but Nish is particularly excellent. Brash bordering on rude, Nish is the guvnor.

7. Tosh Mackintosh
As far as I am aware the only serving firefighter in the programme's history, Tosh went toe to toe with all comers in her pursuit of evil. A truly wicked individual, but I bet she never left the gas on.

8. Huw Edwards
Definitely the Skinner of the Baddiel and Skinner style partnership that the programme makers were going for with his partnership with an adult male called Lenny. Major storyline? Mucking about with Ian Beale's bins as a prank. 'Ad ya!

9. Aunt Babe
We all know an Aunt Babe, and if we didn't we'd have to invent one. A formidable woman.

10. Ian Beale
The soul of the programme. Would Britpop or Britpop been averted if IB was not only a real person but closer to the levers of power? Fuck knows.


 Russell Walker is a writer / performer / lead singer / thinker based in the South East of England. Most recent releases are 'Soothers' with Malvern Brume (Are You Before, 2023) and 'I Can't Remember' (Digital Regress, 2023).